How long does wet chest-length hair take to dry in a dark room? Because that’s the amount of time I’ll need before I can go to bed. Tonight I’m going to sleep feeling completely disappointed. It’s not correct to say that human beings change in time and therefore they are not trustworthy people. After all change may be for the better. But more importantly, they stop putting in as much effort in the relationships they build with one another. They stop being as nice. Perhaps they don’t see a point in it because it’s all supposed to be implicit?
Take for example this story about a man who travelled hours daily just to cook bacon for a girl he liked every morning (she lived a great distance away) to win her heart and also because she loved bacon and he wanted her to be happy. He wanted her happy every morning. After that he won her over and they eventually moved in together. From then onwards he continued to cook her bacon every morning until gradually he got bored of doing it. “I’ve already got the girl, what’s the point of continuing this?” “I’m sure she wouldn’t mind.” “She already knows I love her, is this really necessary?” And so he stopped cooking bacon. He never did it again. He bought a poster of fried bacon and pasted it on their bedroom wall. “Now she can look at it everyday and be reminded of how much I love her.” What he doesn’t know is that it will never be the same again. Their relationship started from point “Cooking Bacon”. Cooking bacon was the crux of their relationship. Cooking bacon brought them together. And now it’s been cast aside as a useless thing to do. How people change. How people so easily forget the drive that made them do incredibly sweet things. They invest less sincerity and time. They stop DOING. They stop seeing the point. They start to ask: what’s the point? in almost every thing that they do. They stop doing things that are meaningless in the eyes of the world but at the same time most meaningful to themselves. They start to only be interested in doing things to fulfill tangible needs. They forget totally, that the heart requires nourishment. It requires protection and care.
You can call it insecurity but to me, it’s all about opening up to a person so much that it fears you. It makes you scared but you want to do it. Because you believe it will be good. And so you keep asking: what if? what’s going to happen? how?
I’ve given you the core of my heart. I ask questions not because I’m greedy and I want everything. Not because I’m crazy and I want to hear sweet words all the time. I ask only because when with you I become vulnerable. I want to know I’m not making a mistake by making you the closest person I’ll ever be with. I ask because I’m truly scared.
Too bad you don’t see that the rose bush is in severe need of watering. You only see the thorns that irk you and you spend all of your time with gardening scissors, trimming away, snipping away. But there is no point. The flowers need to be watered. Otherwise they will wither and die. They will die and then you will never see the rose bush again.
I wish you would understand me better, I’m not as bad as you think. I’m not just all about being short tempered and volatile. Since when have I turned part-ugly in your eyes?
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